Yesterday, while at my neighborhood Kroger, I was perusing the vegetable and fruits section, slowly adding a variety of items to the same plastic bag fruit/vegetable bag (to save the environment and to deeply annoy the check out clerk, who would have to empty the bag, ring up the assortment, and then place them back in the bag – a lot of work, I know), when I came across a man staring at the rack of bananas. I stopped and looked at him. He stayed focused on the bananas.
He was sophisticated looking, with a brown leather coat and some shoes with tassels on them – an indicator of status and prestige in 47 of the 50 states. I will admit, the field of bananas was impressive. There was a whole five yard long wooden shelf laden with them. I saw him perspiring a bit, which demonstrated to me that there was the wrath of a wife or partner on the receiving end of those bananas. A tumbleweed blew down the isle. He paid no attention. His world was bananas and nothing else.
I understood the tassle-shoed man’s plight, but I had no advice to offer him. I too have stared at banana racks, lost in a world of give and take between firmness and color, shape and consistency, trying with all my mental fortitude to spot the perfect cluster. Looking at this man, I couldn’t help wonder what he was pondering, and what the correct answer to his ponderings could be. Previously, I operated on shear animal instinct alone, but after some pertinent research preformed on http://www.banana.com, I may now offer this advice on selecting just the right bananas. And if I ever feel compelled to purchase plantains, I’m ready for that as well:
“Select bananas that are slightly green, firm, and without bruises. If the bananas have a gray tint and a dull appearance, these have been refrigerated, preventing them from ripening properly. Most Americans avoid purchasing plantains mainly because they do not know how to select them and what to do with them. Plantains can be purchased in any state of ripeness, from very green and firm to completely black and soft, but it is important to note that the very green ones will test your patience.”(http://banana.com/howtobuy.html)
If I could live it all over again, I would have this to say: “Dude, Sorry for staring, but go for the slightly green ones if you’re planning to keep them for more than a day or two, other than that, a shallow yellow is where its at. Oh, and I dig your tassels.
Sorry For Staring 